NOT THAT THERE’S ANYTHING WRONG WITH THIS STUFF, BUT HERE GO SOME THINGS YOU’LL PROBABLY NEVER HEAR FROM THIS MIDDLE-AGED GUY
Where are my skinny jeans? That’s pronounced “Shar-KOO-tuh-REE!” Could you pick me up a large musk oil and an extra-large hair gel? Do these camo pants make me look fat? Take this back. There’s way too much cheese on these nachos. Where are my opera glasses? No, they aren’t with my opera cloak! I just